By John A. McMullin, H.C.
Do you live your life with expectations or in anticipation? Expectations are often the rules of life we learned from our childhood experiences and hold critical parenting as a tool to shame parts of our ego when expectations are not met. Expectations are often used to express value judgments of right or wrong, good or bad, or simply not being good enough. Placing expectations on ourselves or others creates the burden of using external sources or other ego parts as the source of feeling safe or valued.† Expectations always have an emotional investment in the outcome. The expectations we place on our own behavior and the behavior of others can provide a constant source of stress and disappointment in our lives. Unmet expectations often create judgment from the inner critic, the voice that speaks so loudly or silently.
Anticipation comes from the joyful child within who celebrates life experiences with curiosity, playfulness, and enthusiasm. Anticipation resides also in the adult ego as we learn to see our own or anotherís behavior from a place of allowing and accepting. Anticipation does not have an emotional attachment to the outcome of an event and gives us permission to view and experience everything from the spectrum of wisdom.†
Changing expectations into anticipation involves becoming aware of how we still use our mother and/or father ego values to judge ourselves and others.† Noticing judgment provides the opportunity to forgive our reacting ego parts and practice the process of responding to experiences without judging them.† We can choose to embrace the moment with curiosity and excitement instead of focusing on past or future wounds and fears.† Living with anticipation means embracing love and teaching our ego parts to own the experience of deserving love.
Holistic Coaching Institute